I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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