please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize