don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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