Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
