haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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