You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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