u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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