Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
