Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize