i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
love makes seman taste better
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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