Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
