if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
