so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
