We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
