I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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