took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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