You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My bed smells like the plague
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
