I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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