Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
