C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
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Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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