He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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