She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
