Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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