IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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