dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
