How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
