im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize