You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
