We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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