soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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