were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
