I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
