I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
