get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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