He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She bit a glass in half.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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