If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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