Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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