There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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