Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
