he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
