I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
