Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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