No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
