I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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