remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
