Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
