Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
