just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
