It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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