3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
