So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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