Porn is love you can see.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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