I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
