He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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