so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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