I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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