he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
