At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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