spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
