i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm at about main and main street
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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