just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
