Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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