Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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