I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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