R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
