come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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