I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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