Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
