i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
