I'm going to jail i love you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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