are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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