i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Text me some of your sweat
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
