i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
