First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
